Madison Bumgarner, Buster Posey and every single one of our San Francisco Giants have proven that the impossible isn’t so impossible after all. It’s what you believe you can do, regardless of what the odds are. Winning their third World Series in five years was the epitome of focus, grit and a sheer determination personified by those who really understand what the game is all about. They left it all on the field.
It’s been a busy few months. It’s hard to believe that I’m just one week away from my fourth round of cancer drugs. So, here’s the update for those of you interested to follow along.
Portia and I are getting along just fine. My golf game hasn’t been compromised at all, and if anything, maybe it’s improved just a bit. I played 9 holes just the other day, walking the course, surprised at the great golf shots that somehow were catapulted off my club heads. It was a day to enjoy with my golf buddies, and a stretch of several hours where I could simply enjoy the fresh air, exercise and camaraderie of those who also love the crazy little sport that drives most men crazy. I especially love when I can feel rather like my old self, temporarily forgetting about my ‘new normal.’
Not that it’s been bad…it hasn’t. Sure, the drugs have some side effects that seem to be more prominent in the first week or so after treatment, and then suddenly on about day ten, they dissipate. But they are manageable. With each visit to the oncologist I feel blessed, especially when I look around at others getting chemo on the days I’m there doing the same. It’s a somber place. I don’t do somber very well.
I’m out and about most every day even when I’m feeling less than stellar. I’m resting when I feel my body telling me to ‘chill’. I’m keeping pace with work and all of my clients, who tell me how wonderful I look.
I know I look like a complete imposter in that silly wig, or like an aging gypsy with one of my many new scarves. I just suck it up and motor onward. Because that’s what stealth survivor’s do. We don’t waste time dwelling on the stupid stuff. We focus on the priorities. Hair? Overrated.
I silently chuckle as everyone compliments my clear complexion. They think it’s the drugs. Newsflash: my complexion has always been clear. Obviously no one ever noticed before I lost my hair to chemo. So, I’m thinking that when (and if) my hair ever grows back, I may just keep it super short. I think that may be the more flattering look.
My oncologist is very pleased I’m doing so well. Last time I saw her, she remarked about my ‘wonderful attitude’. Her bedside manner isn’t all that fuzzy, but I’m not there for her personality. I have noticed a rogue smile sometimes escapes her when we chat about my progress. And it shows up again after I give her a departing hug of gratitude when our time is up…an awkward moment for her I think. “Sorry, I’m a hugger,” I told her this last time. Then I quickly made a mental note to not hug her next time. I’m so appreciative of her careful oversight and management of my challenging situation, that I instinctually reach to give her a departing hug. She’s Head of Oncology and Hematology. I think hugs are probably off limits at that level. Really, I need to stop.
Yesterday was my nadir day…the day when my blood counts are at their lowest, always two weeks post chemo. I go in each nadir day and get my blood work done. After a finger poke, the blood gets squeezed into a little tube and inserted into a machine that spits out a complete blood count within minutes. Nancy, my assigned oncology nurse, reviewed the test results with me. And we spoke about my progress with the side effects, followed by a quick weigh in and physical exam. She too was delighted to see me doing so well overall. “It’s your healthy lifestyle,” she said. “And her great attitude,” hubby chimed in.
Whatever it is, I’m thankful. Personally, I chalk it up to hitting the ground running. I was perfectly healthy at the time I was diagnosed. I wasn’t run down, fatigued, or compromised in any way. I was playing GOLF for God’s sake. I may have been challenged, but I was NOT compromised.
Who knew that this surreal and bizarre turn of events would be such a complete and total game changer?
But that’s life. When an unexpected curve ball comes barreling across the plate, you’d better be a damn good catcher. Because whether it’s thrown by Madison Bumgarner or by the very essence of fate, there’s no time to do anything but reposition your mitt.
That’s all I’ve done. I’ve repositioned. BRING IT.