Jumpin’ in with both feet..

 

Dear Reader,

I don’t know what kind of a day you’re having, but since you’ve landed here,  I want to thank you for stopping by.  I know that your time is valuable, and I hope not to waste it.  I don’t imagine that reading what I have to say will alter your day a whole lot, unless you happen to be a slow reader.

Life and Other Turbulence seemed like a good summation of what I have to share as a writer.  As I look back to the road behind me, I can tell you that I’ve navigated much of my adult life by using my finely honed sense of humor and acutely focused gut radar.  And, I rely on the shoulders of my inner circle when the going gets rough.

I operate more by instinct…and I’m not one to ponder much.  That’s just how I roll.   The turbulence in my life has been manageable, and I know this because I’m here writing about it.   Like a bumpy flight high above the Sierras in a stormy weather pattern, it’s caused my nerves to fray, but it’s always leveled out for a relatively smooth landing just the same.  Maybe not on the runway of choice, but wheels down and wings in tact.  Priorities are crucial.

I’ve often thought of writing a book which I would title ‘My Life As A Corporate Wife’, detailing the many crazy circumstances and cross-country re-locations I’ve endured over the years out of sheer ‘stand by my man’ loyalty.  This would be followed by a weighty book titled ‘The Dumbest Things Movers Do’.

But rather than focus on that, I’ve been working on another writing project.  It’s emotionally slow going.   Which brings me to the purpose for this blog.  Let’s face it.  I have stage fright.  So, I’m thinking that if I manage to garner a virtual audience who actually has an ongoing interest in my blog, it will surely bolster me forward to keep on sharing.  I’m told blogging regularly is like swimming laps… the more you do, the easier it becomes.

“So,” you might ask, “what’s your source of inspiration as a writer?”  Well,  I’m probably old enough to be your mother (um…but if that’s REALLY true, just think of me as an aunt.)  I have enough mileage behind me now to fill volumes, but thankfully I’m also young enough to have the interest to get my tales captured forever.  My family may well appreciate this some day when I’m really old and too cranky to give a hoot.

But, getting the words down as a blogger may prove a challenge, which is where YOU come in.  I like the idea of writing to my computer screen, but only if I know it’s not for naught.  I don’t need much of a following…just enough to know someone has an interest.  I’d be curious if the tables were turned.  So here’s a snapshot of where I’m coming from:

I am the daughter of parents who loved me unequivocally, though much of their attention was directed towards my older  siblings for very important reasons.  One was critically ill.  The other was critically out of control.

I grew up as a shy youngster.  My father was a professional gunman (explanation coming in a later post) and the Superman of my universe.  My mother was Lois Lane, but with a cane.  I matured into a young adult with hard formed opinions about a lot of things.  Life was not dull in my childhood.

I’ve been married (to the same guy) for a LOT of years…and long enough to know he’s not perfect, but it isn’t for lack of effort.  He’s closing in with each new year.  Although I’ve often felt like our marriage was akin to Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride,  I recognize that marriage is truly about compromise.   It’s not about me.  It’s not about him.  It’s about how we can navigate the road together and still come out whole.

I’m a Mom.  Yes, that’s with a capital M.  No matter how tall they grow or how many candles are on their birthday cake, I still love them with all my heart, even if it means backing away to give them their own adult breathing space.  I’m also a mother-in-law (yes, that’s with a lower case m) to two delightful women.  They both already have Mothers…they don’t need my relationship in that way. And I love them both enough to understand this.  And, I’m proud to call each of them my Daughter-in-law.  Yes, that’s a capital D. (You’re with me on this now, right?)

So, while my boys are settled into their adult lives, I’m cheering on my youngest baby as she looks to her own future, discovering her own path as she sails (literally) the often choppy waters of the future, while working hard for a large organization of scientists in their efforts to educate the general public about the health of our ever evolving planet.

I’m also now a grandmother (gasp!) and an organizer and a detail girl.   I have multiple longtime clients.  Some are non-profit organizations and others are private individuals whose home offices are under my careful watch.  There’s nothing better to keep you grounded than working in someone else’s orb for awhile.  I can tell you:  Money does not buy happiness, but it does allow you someone like me, who can pay your bills and manage the busy (and often hilarious) details of your life that come with high net-worth.

I’m a reader, a dabbling artist,  a committed volunteer, and a longtime dog owner.   In what I like to refer to as my ‘past’ life, I used to be a not-so-hot skier, a wild-card golfer, an okay equestrian, a totally challenged horse owner, and a principled corporate employee.  I miss the horses, I miss the skiing, I miss the golf.  I do not miss the corporate crap that was rather appalling to my ignorant expectations of high standards.

I’ve volunteered in classrooms, hospitals, barns and museums.   And I can tell you a fair amount about sea lions, elephant seals, harbor seals and the well being of their ocean home, thanks to my five years as an education docent at The Marine Mammal Center. More recently I have been volunteering as an Adoption Counselor for a local area German Shepherd Rescue organization.

Lastly, and probably least importantly in terms of self-identity, I’m a cancer patient living with stage 4 advanced disease.  There is no cure on my horizon; only ongoing medical treatments that will keep me alive for as long as I still have quality of life.  Once that’s gone, I’ll be folding my cards.   I can tell you about  surgeries, more surgeries and losing body parts.  I can tell you about chest ports, chemos that didn’t work, targeted gene-specific therapy infusions, and radiation.  I can tell you about the ongoing hunt for remission and what it’s like to be scanned every four months as my oncologist doggedly pursues any sign of furthered progression of disease. And I can tell you about the curses of internet research on my own diagnosis.

I’m not interested in the statistics of cancer survival.  I’m following the advice of my original oncologist. I’m living in the HERE and NOW.   I facilitate bi-monthly group calls with other patients from around the  nation who are struggling emotionally with the same grim outlook on their own prognosis with the same disease.  And on a weekly basis, I cover one three hour shift answering a national telephone hotline specifically for those in dire need to talk with someone who understands.  These support services are offered by SHARE, a cancer support organization based in NYC.

So, that’s it in a nutshell.  When I began this blog back in 2012, it was to get into the habit of writing routinely, because I was working on a memoir project.  I needed to find my true voice.  Pretty sure that mission has been accomplished.

I felt my first post should be my intro.

(FYI:  The above is my first blog post titled ‘Jumpin’ in with both feet..’    Wanted you to know, in case you’d planned on clicking there next.  Instead, go warm your coffee and click on the next item down, ‘About being a writer..’  It’ll explain how this whole thing started in the first place)

 

 

One thought on “Jumpin’ in with both feet..

  1. Leebo9…

    Great blog post, saw on…

    Like

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