As the night winds down here, I’m drawn to the fact that my blog site has had 6 views today. And now I find myself wondering who those viewers are, exactly. Each evening before I go to bed, I do take the time to look at the site stats, just to see if anyone has inadvertently stumbled upon me, knowing full well that the odds are very slim, since I kind of cower, I mean hover here in the corner of cyberspace rather worried that someone might actually take notice, but secretly hoping that someone might find what I have written to be of help in some way…either a good laugh, or a good cry, or just a good few moments away from their own daily routine of life. I’d fully intended to write more frequently, which was the whole point of setting up this blog. But instead, I find myself too concerned about editing what I might want to blog about, for fear of upsetting the invisible reader-to-be. Which is totally stupid, and defeats the entire purpose of blogging in the first place.
But, I can proudly say that I’d been working on my memoir project quite recently, up until a sudden family emergency whisked me away from not only my writing progress, but also from my frame of mind. And frame of mind is critical to getting anything accomplished when it comes to memoir. I’d never really intended it to become anything other than the original essay I wrote in response to this writing prompt: Write about something that happened early in your life that years later had a profound effect on you.
The essay that I finally produced just hours before it was due, got quite the reaction…not only from my writing teacher, but also a year later from a well known author whose writing workshop I’d attended. Both had strongly encouraged me to expand that original essay into an expansive manuscript. But the problem, you see, is that even after all these years, I find the process of ‘going back in time’ to capture the events that took place so very long ago is akin to being told you have a malignancy. You experience the moment, but you don’t fully comprehend the ripple effect until you are light years away.
And now that I’m back to my daily routine again here at home, I’m swamped trying to get caught up at work, which has nothing to do with writing, but everything to do with total brain focusing work. Eventually, I will get on with my personal journey, both forward and back. I’ll begin once again to tap away on my computer so that I can push through the hard stuff and just GET ON WITH IT.
It’s nice to know that of all the inconsequential blog sites out there in cyberspace, mine attracted 6 reads today. That little fact makes me smile, wondering who exactly is out there, zeroing in on the words I’ve written?